NATIONAL WESTMINSTER BANK SECURITY

Have you ever wondered who writes the security procedures for these sorts?  Security procedures which have to be implemented by telephone clerks who appear to have no real idea what day of the week it is. Clerks who honestly might be better off throwing a sickie and taking a DUKW Tour of London.

Receiving a call from one such apparent sot recently I asked quite how I might be sure it was in fact Nat West security and not some clever scammer.  

"Just answer a few security questions, sir.  What's your mother's maiden name?"

"I'm sorry I don't want to tell you that in case you are in fact an identity thief."

"What is your date of birth?"

"I'm sorry I don't want to answer that in case you are in fact an identity thief."

"Well sir you can always phone us back using the number on the back of your card."

"But then if you don't hang up I'm going to get you again aren't I?" ( His attitude was poor - I would say condescending -  and so I was now winding him up.....but of course there really is such a scam!)

And so it went on until his (feeble?) training kicked in and he suggested he was going to end the call because we were going round in circles. (which certainly we were not !) Or maybe his tea was ready.

Feeling rather sorry for what appeared to be a twittering plonker I ended the call.  Maybe I should have been tolerant?  I knew that by now, if indeed this had been a genuine security call, my accounts would be well and truly blocked, and a big black mark would be lurking somewhere - possibly with a file note suggesting care be taken with this rude bastard ( aka customer). Nevertheless, maybe I should try and phone them back as suggested.  

Taking the 0845 number from the back of my NEW card I dialled the number only to be informed by a recorded message that  "so as to improve the customer experience..." (or something very similar) ...."the number is no longer active and reference should be made to the web-site."  Thanks a bunch!

Once upon a time incompetence in such large organisations as the National Westminster Bank ( part of the Royal Bank of Scotland ?) would be almost unheard of. No longer as we all know.  It's maybe time they were all side-lined in favour of something new.

I had tried to explain to the National Westminster fraud clerk that I blamed the procedures and not him. He apologised for the procedures but said he could do nothing about them. (N.B. a lad with ambition?).  Well get this......  

If the National Westminster, Royal Bank of Scotland, has any worthwhile marketing tools it  will pick up this little blog. And you, dear readers will know because you will see their comments below.  It's a chance for them to get their own back.  So here's a couple of questions for the Chief Executive, National Westminster Bank. (1) "What the hell is going on?" and (2) What is your mother's maiden name?" 

SPEAKER'S PLANS TO END WESTMINSTER BOOZE CULTURE ON THE ROCKS

So now +John Bercow is a kill-joy?  Who in their right mind would try to destroy the Westminster Booze Culture?  Is the country really run by a bunch of drunks?

Let's just think about this.  For years many of Parliament's members have made their decisions after full debate and several trips to the Commons bar.  Television broadcasts of goings on in the Chamber show how responsibly, with what level of business propriety, and in what numbers, such debates are conducted.  

Who will dare say that more sober considerations would have produced more sensible decisions?  This esteemed crowd, many allegedly a  bunch of heavy drinkers, have been doing their level best; walking the white line with a degree of practised caution. But then seriously, haven't you ever wondered if just a couple of drinks might be sufficient to help them say what they really think?  Or maybe a couple of drinks is all it takes to get them whipped into shape? Remember these guys are there because we elected them !

On a deadly serious level, one too many, and things quickly go tits-up. Let's hope those fellows with a bit of a problem use public transport for the trip home - even if we pay for it.

Ban drinking at work for MP's? Make up your own mind.  Maybe look at Parliamentary performance over the last few decades; reach your own conclusions.  

As for John Bercow, bless him, let's assume he's suggesting something he actually believes.  I find it hard to warm to the man, but on this occasion, I agree with his efforts. Unless, of course, it's just an Aunt Sally?   

UK ABOUT TO LEAVE EUROPE?

Well can you believe it?  It's not long since +Venerable Jacques Delors seemed to be saying that the UK could split from the +European Community ( or whatever it now calls itself ) but still stay friends.

Absolutely no idea what this means have you ?  

But what is absolutely clear to many UK residents, including +Nigel Farage and members of burgeoning +UKIP, is that  leaving Europe could be one of the most courageous, but most constructive things the UK ever does. Especially important with the suicidal connection of the UK pound to the disasterous Euro.

As we are constantly reminded, especially by the wobbling +BBC, the world is changing.  The economic changes are real and of great importance; unlike, some would say,  the BBC's biased ranting on climate change!!  

The UK must look to help China and India blossom in their development and in so doing benefit itself through a massive increase in its traditional invisible exports.  Does Europe really believe still that Frankfurt can replace London in this part of the world as centre of the financial universe? But of course that's the intention - and with an exposed pound expect our European "friends" to tighten the noose.  But dream on !! Our new Chinese and other friends have their eye firmly on London.  It's the best off-shore centre in the World and following a brief decline in the fortunes of the UK pound the markets will return gladly to the strength and stability of British sense. 

So dear Jacques thanks for reminding us that we can still remain friends with Europe even if we "leave" it.  We value friendship and seek it.  If, bless them,  Europe felt unable to remain friends it would be their decision and certainly not the UK's.

Oh and by the way for all the doubters out there, dwell on this.  What Europe buys from the United Kingdom, it buys because it wants to - not because we are part of the E.U.