STRICTLY COME DANCING

Any moment now - and  they'll be off !! The semi-finals of SCD.  Evidently two dances each this week; so double the opportunity to screw up one way or another.  Unfortunately these celebs all look fairly proficient to me.  So the fun of seeing one or other trip up, forget their steps, get caught up in their dress, kiss someone they shouldn't, or touch something they shouldn't has receded somewhat.  Never mind, I'm sure something of interest will turn up.

If all else fails there is always a splendid opportunity to admire the needlework and wonder quite how those dresses stay in place - and hope they wont! 

And the judges, they seem like a nice bunch on the whole.  But I really can't warm to that miserable Len fellow.  Possibly a very decent sort;  but don't you just squirm when he screws up his already wrinkled face to look disapprovingly sideways at that hugely amiable Craig chappie who has the balls to give an honest opinion. It's just as if you wonder who's trod in the dog doo doo, Len.

I'm going to suggest you hang loose, old chap. Cheer up a bit. Inexplicably the licence-payers chuck loads of dosh in your direction in exchange for which you do next to bugger all.  What's not to enjoy ?  

LORRY DRIVERS AND MOTORWAY DRIVING

Yesterday I spent some time driving 300 miles of the U.K. motorways M5 and M6.  The weather was appalling: windy and wet with associated poor visibility.

Now this blog is specifically about lorry drivers, truck drivers - call them what you will.  Some of them are quite definitely amongst the most skilled, most considerate, drivers around.  Some of them are amongst the worst.  They like to call themselves "professionals", "knights of the road."  Well no doubt some can reasonably make those claims.  But those that do, daily have to live down the disgraceful behaviour of their less skilled, less intelligent truck-driver associates.

What do we think of such truckers who seem, for example, to have no understanding of what "tailgating" means?  Are they really so thick they have no understanding of what breaking distances are required in particular circumstances?  Actually "yes" is the answer in many cases.  Do they realise how dangerous their driving is? Do they care?  Well I can imagine some of them now reading this and telling themselves they don't care.  And some of them probably think their reactions are super-human. The even less intelligent  think they know exactly what they are doing, and that it is safe. 

These are the scum who deserve to be lashed to the rim of an artic and then driven from London to Glasgow until nothing of them remains.  Sound a bit unkind?  Maybe a bit extreme? Well just remember these tossers are frequently responsible for wiping out the participants of vehicles they have followed too closely. But even then they hold on to their "Kane Dingle" attitudes. 

.....and yes there are many car and van drivers whose behaviour is equally adolescent.

EUROZONE - BLESS THEM

O.K.  Not a lot to say about the fun over dinner last night.  But well done Cameron.  Assuming, that is,  we have been given the whole truth.  

The eurozone, and the euro as it is currently known, is now finished not saved.  It will take a couple of days for the commentators to pluck up enough understanding and  courage to say so.  But let me be one of the first.  It doesn't matter therefore whether or not the UK had agreed to suck up to our French and German over-the-English-Channel neighbours. Either way the market consequences are the same.

What really matters to the U.K. is not what the Europeans think of the U.K..  What matters is what the rest of the World think of the U.K., and what the rest of the World think of the remaining Eurozone participants !  On those opinions depends the long-term success of the U.K.

Not to say that mainland Europeans ( the individuals I mean ) are anything but splendid.  They vary in character and attractiveness.  But they are nevertheless splendid and the UK is lucky to have such a mixed bag of sorts just across the water.  Shame the European mainland people have to put up with apparently stupid governments.  Well of course long-term they may not.

JEREMY CLARKSON

What is it about this overgrown buffoon that people seem to like ?  For the life of me I cannot think of anything.  My father would have had him down as not quite a complete idiot.  For example  ask yourself what message Clarkson sends out to young lads new to driving.  He encourages hate of some road-users and seems to have little regard for speed limits or any other signs of authority.  But then maybe it's all just a joke;  and the young lads should realise it.  Remember when we were younger and said something which got us into trouble at school?  " Sorry Sir, I didn't mean it. I was only joking." Hmm. 

Yes.  Clarkson's behaviour reminds me of schooldays.  It was cool to be a bit of a prick and great fun to get caught out being rude to authority. Yes that's Clarkson for me.  His latest "joke" about what should happen to strikers may or may not reflect his personal view; but should there be any doubt parts of the media, locked in apparent love affair, report what many think is vile behaviour, as quite obviously a joke. Maybe a joke - but certainly not "quite obviously." And so, once more, he's off the hook bless him. "Sorry Mum I didn't mean it.  It was just a joke." How sad. No doubt the last thing on his mind is to be offensive eh ?

If this is the way he choses to behave then, as with spotty maladjusted teenagers  ( who by the way, to a festering blackhead,  will adore him ), there is very little we can do.  That is apart from look on with some embarrassment as he continues to make an ass of himself.  But why should he care as controversy inflates sales of his latest book?   

Maybe Clarkson should begin to wonder whether the old saying "What goes around comes around" might one day hold true in his circumstances; in which case he could dwell upon what consequences he might expect.  Meanwhile should he now reflect upon whether his popularity has more to do with people laughing at him rather than with him.  Could followers be willing him to go just that little bit too far?  Now that would be fun.  But of course Clarkson gives not so much as a fishers tit.  Perhaps it's time he did.

So how do I decide whether I like such a fellow or not ?  The acid test for me is to ask whether he would  have been  a good role model for my son.   As with dear old Ed Balls (same buffoon-category as Clarkson for me ), it's a resounding NO !!

BBC CAN'T FILL TOP JOBS ?

So the BBC can no longer fill its top jobs ? Now there's a surprise.  What's the best way to get more money out of sugar daddy?  Well,dear, tell him you can't manage any more and if something isn't done about it then you can't guarantee, well, you can't just guarantee anything any more.

END OF THE OUZOZONE?

Look out. Here they come again !! Mr Papandreou has been "forced" to changed his mind and no longer seeks a referendum. Wicked !!  By all accounts he changed his mind because German and French "friends" from the current eurozone  threatened his country with bankruptcy. Nice eh?  


Now call me a kill-joy but I thought that was just the problem.  I thought they were already bankrupt. Let's not get all technical and revert to econotalk; its simple. Greece can't meet its liabilities.  The only way out - for a while -  is for some poor sots to write off half what it owes, and for eurozoptimists to bail it out somehow.  And, not unnaturally, these benefactors would require Greece to put in place very severe measures to turn around their economy. Dream on !! 


Do we really need to ask why, given the chance, most Greeks would have voted against the plan and its severe measures, and yet also would have voted to stay in the eurozone?! Possibly something to do with the quite understandable longing to preserve their roots, return to the beloved drachma, retirement for all at 50,  long sunny days sucking olives and quoffing ouzo, with the confidence to care not a monkey's about the world around them ?


For me this is the crux of the matter.  And if the eurozoptimists insist on trying to change a nation's character, then they might well get their fingers burned more than just the once. Some countries need to have their own currency; and there could be quite a few of them in Europe. They need a currency which reacts to the country's character, its roots, its work ethic, and so on.


It still seems to me inevitable that Greece will default; if not now,  then later. It would leave the Eurozone.  Now according to the intelligensia, the UK would then be doomed by some powerful knock on effect. Frankly I doubt it - but maybe.  Think of it all in family terms.  It's sometimes worth drawing the line, declaring bankruptcy, and starting again with as clean a sheet as possible.

BRING BACK THE OUZOZONE AND STUFF THE EUROZONE

Much to the apparent irritation of some BBC news programmes and Ed Balls, the U.K. today announced its economy had grown by 0.5% in the third quarter of 2011.  No one, including the Chancellor, was upbeat about the future, but maybe he was mindful that discretion is the better part of valour?  In fact it was a bloody good result - although as I've hinted you wouldn't think so based on the BBC news. And Ed Balls, bless him, could barely hide his miff.  


I don't want to get boring but just remember that in August 2011 the Guardian reported that the French economy failed to grow.  Yet on 13th May 2011, under the headline "UK left behind as French and German economies surge"  it had enthusiastically reported "Germany and France, which together account for nearly half of the eurozone's GDP, grew by 0.4% and 0.3% respectively in the fourth quarter."


Read it again if you need to and come to your own conclusions !


Of more fascination, and great fun,  is the dire position of Greece, and the effect its behaviour will have on the eurozone if, as expected, the Greek people reject the remedy imposed by eurozone leaders. And who could blame them !  Whether or not there is a referendum is academic.  Without a referendum there would certainly be an election and the Greek population are unlikely to vote for a pro-eurozone party longing as they do for the return to favour of  the beloved drachma, retirement for all at 50,  long sunny days sucking olives and quoffing ouzo, and the confidence to care not a monkey's about the world around them.  


Fortunately on these matters I have no need to show discretion when it comes to predicting what will happen.  Neither do I care if I turn out to be wrong.  So what's likely ?  


After six, maybe twelve, months of struggling the U.K. economy will begin to grow strongly as it lessens its reliance on eurozone markets. Greece will return to having its own currency and gradually slip back into the sleepy, relaxed sort of country it's comfortable with being and which visitors so loved.  Likewise Italy, Spain, and Portugal may see the benefits, economically speaking, of being able to do what they want, when they want, and how they want.  They would reap the benefits of rubbing along just as though nothing had changed. Mañana !!


Of course a few hangers-on will remain, (amongst others I'm predicting a definite Holland and a maybe Eire ) inexplicably  content to risk becoming yet more economic parasites robbed of the right to decide their own economic policy, or create their own laws, or simply act in their own country's interests and sod the neighbours.   


Let me think..... Yippee ! Bring on the champers.  This could well be the beginning of the end of the eurozone as we know it.  And no real surprise either.  The eurozone is subscribed to by a mixture of nationalities.  Each nationality is substantially different to all of the others.  Different in language, behaviour, morality, outlook, work ethic - the list is endless.  Let them trade together if they wish.  But that's it.  


Let them have back their own currency, their own laws, their own morality and, most of all,  their dignity.


         

CHINESE MORALITY

Well bugger me with a Chinese pyrotechnic.  Our narrow-eyed expectant European benefactors are having a crackdown to improve social cohesion.  Admirably they want to strengthen social morality.  So how are they going to do it ? Especially in the frame, I understand,  the "vulgar tendencies" of  light entertainment shows - TV, dating, and talk shows where there's a tendency towards more bang than fizz. 


Recently Chinese public morality has been gravely injured by the reported attitude of passers by who, it's alleged, simply ignored the horrendous predicament of a child injured in a road accident.  Frankly I doubt the vulgar tendencies of light entertainment shows have much to do with the inspiration of such behaviour. But perhaps they do. 


Well then maybe the U.K. should reassess the vulgar tendencies of programmes like Strictly Come Dancing ? A show where there's fireworks every week.  Enough crackers, jumping jacks, aerial bombs, and flashes to shake a stick at. But of course  the U.K., is hardly China ( well not yet....).  The U.K coalition government is chronically ill with liberal affliction. It also runs scared of interfering with anything BBC - but that's another story !! 


So what could they possibly do?  No doubt urge twelve million viewers to adopt some for of self-regulation?  A sort of......" Well I don't think I'll watch that vulgar shit tonight.  It could dilute my social mores."  Sure !!  

INTERNET AND BRAINS

So I've just read that social networking sites may be changing participants brains as well as their social lives. Evidently such conclusions have been reached as a result of examining 3D brain scans of  125 university students from London.  Is that really a significant sample? Was it really necessary? How many people with brain tumours were denied diagnostic access as a result?


Nevertheless guess what ?  They conclude there's a link between the number of Facebook friends a person has and the size of certain parts of the brain........uh huh.  And if you have more real life friends,  then you are likely to have more Facebook friends. ....uuuuh huuuh.   What's that got to do with the internet changing brains? Probably nothing but who cares?


A more useful useful study might  have been to compare the brain changing force of watching Muffin the Mule back in the sixties, with watching Bob the Builder today.  But wait !  I wonder how complicated Muffin the Mule might present to some of today's academic researchers?  Best start with Bill and Ben and work back.   


No. I'm sorry UCL.  Whilst I'm pleased that the Wellcome Trust came up trumps and funded things for you, I'm overjoyed it didn't cost me or other taxpayers so much as a brain cell;  well I don't think it did.  


Call me crassly impertinent,  but the whole subject seems to have been a complete waste of time and, but for the publicity,  a complete waste of money.  I'm going to break it to you gently....


Of course the internet changes the way we think, the way we behave and so on;  if you prefer, it changes our brains.  You don't need research to reach that conclusion.   Anyone with half an intellect can figure it out.   


On a more  positive note I'm told you've always done quite well in University Challenge. Well done ! 

UK BORDER CONTROL

I can't believe what I am seeing on this programme.  It seems that in respect of a bunch of illegal immigrants found in a Dover-Bound lorry, the main priority is for the immigrants health and well-being!  Uh huh ?  None seem able to speak English and none have identification.  Remedy?  Evidently only one - release them. Without identification the French authorities are powerless to do anything.  So........ let me think.... will they try again tomorrow ?

And now I am watching an Indian fellow ( big bugger ) and his traditionally-clad wife, both caught smuggling thousands of fags and rolling tobacco into the UK .  It turns out that their travel documents are also out of order. When told that he and his wife will be sent back on the next flight he turns on the tears (bless him) and claims that he will be killed if he is sent back. Kindly his options are then explained to him - including the option for him to claim asylum.  After eight hours of buggering about with this incredible story, incredibly, it is disbelieved. They are reunited with their passports and sent home. Eight hours !!?? How much did that cost I wonder.  Might there be any room for our magnificently efficient  civil service to cut  some costs? And how unkind to have kept these poor souls on a piece of string for so long.  Especially when the Dover branch of the same organisation has, as its main priority,  the health and well-being of  budding immigrants.

And how do we deal with immigrants found working illegally?  O.K.  This is what we do.  Arrest them ( so far so good ), and ask them for their passport.  Most will say they don't have passports. So, until things can be sorted out, they are released on the understanding that they report weekly to the Immigration office and do no work. Any idea what then happens ?.......oh and incidentally the one I saw being released walked off laughing. Who could blame him ?

THE END OF SOAPS FOR ME.......

Argumentative ?....Well if you're an Emmerdale watcher, or almost any other, soap-watcher it seems, that's probably where you caught it. Double portion of Emmerdale on Thursdays equals double portion of wall to wall arguing, bust ups, fighting, shouting and generally uncontrolled behaviour.  It seems to be the trend nowadays. And it doesn't seem to matter which country you live in !!  I for one have had enough.

I wonder if the writers of soaps actually have lives consisting of one continuous row ? Maybe they do.  But there's no reason to foist their horrible lives on us hapless viewers. No more of this rubbish for me !!

VINCE CABLE ATTACKS REPUBLICANS

Well now ! Dear old Vince is in my sights today.  This time he's attacking US Republican politicians for, he says, holding up a deal to reduce US government debt. Bright as he no doubt is, I wonder whether Vince has been a bit too hasty for his own good?  Certainly it's unwise, if not just plain rude, to refer to the politicians as right wing nutters.  Right wing maybe - but nutters ? 

Of course all reasonable Americans want to see the huge US debts reduced; even though such reductions would come from tax increases and spending cuts.  But President Obama and his colleagues maintain there is also a need to raise the current $14.3trillion borrowing limit - potentially allowing debt to increase - so that the US Treasury cash flow is sufficient to allow it to pay its bills ! 

So there are two challenges here:  reducing debt and meeting imminent financial commitments. So far as I can see the Democrats want both processes to be agreed together and now. The Republicans want to agree the borrowing limit first and afterwards agree what spending cuts and tax rises are necessary. 

You may not like the Republican's view, Vince dear, but it's hardly unreasonable?

IMMIGRATION CLERKS TO GO ON STRIKE ?

Some immigration sorts are going on strike because they don't like the fact that their pension and other arrangements are to be changed. They maintain that they deserve what many other hard-working folk see as inappropriately generous pension arrangements. They maintain this along with other Public Sector colleagues even in this appallingly dodgy financial situation.  They can't see, or maybe understand, what is happening elsewhere in the world  - and in Europe in particular. 


The general public is actually rather tired of the poor performance it sees in the Public Sector; and it's tired of the cheeky bleats for better wages, pensions, working hours and so on.  Now I don't doubt that some of them probably deserve more equitable treatment when the relativities of the whole of the Public Sector are considered together. Possibly, for example, in some Teaching and Police disciplines. But for heaven's sake if a part of the Public Sector wants something then it must surely earn respect from the general public first. Can the immigration service actually claim such a thing ?


Well let me think.....Letting a banned extremist into the country is not an action which commands respect. It's sloppy and it's stupid. It's another apparent example of incompetence or naivety. But then why should we be surprised ? Remember those fly on the wall programmes dealing with aspiring immigrants?  How easy it seemed to be to pull the wool over the eyes of our immigration people and be granted a temporary 24hour "pass" to see the internet girlfriend.  On the immigration grounds, it seems, that it would be rather unkind not to let them do so !!  Of course the "pass" is conditional upon returning to the airport 24 hours later to catch a flight home.......oh yeah.......sure. Parliamentary question anyone ?

PUBLIC SECTOR WORKERS TO STRIKE

Well what does it take for Public Sector workers to realise that they are not exactly liked by anyone other than themselves?  The Private sector quite naturally envies public sector pensions, the length of their working week, and their holiday entitlements.  And who in the Public Sector would like to compare their general level of sickness absence with that of the private sector?  Oh no !!! Do I hear my public sector colleagues mumble the word "stress"? Well guess what ? Stress also exists in the private sector where frankly in my observation it is greater and more prolonged.

Make no mistake the perception of many a normal fellow is that public sector workers are already an over-paid, under-worked, under-performing bunch with disproportionately generous pension arrangements,  who on the whole are responsible for a scandalous waste of tax-payers money given the overall benefit derived. That is the perception and it's only reinforced by any amount  of whimpering.

For example take the MOD.  I've no idea whether servants in the MOD will join the strike but if they do they should bear in mind that Lord Levine has described that particular bunch as bedevilled by weak decision-making and poor accountability with insufficient focus on affordability and proper financial management ( or words to that general effect ). Heaven forbid ! What has been going on ?  This suggests that not only are the numbers of staff excessive but that quality is also lacking.

I'm going to hazard a guess that similar deficiencies could be found to a greater or lesser extent in pretty much every government department, in hospitals, throughout the education system, in the police and fire services, the courts and job centres (?!),  prisons and no doubt others.

If this country is going to avoid going down the drain along with several of its inefficient and / or lazy European bedfellows it will have to pull itself together. Whether or not we like it this surely means doing everything possible to stop any scandalous waste of taxpayers money ?  Given that striking workers are not paid by their employer perhaps Thursday's planned strike will be the start of an inadvertent step in the right direction.

U.K DROUGHT - HOW CAN GARDENERS COPE ?

How can cope with a hose pipe ban ? Quite frankly who gives a fisher's tit ?  ....Maybe gardeners I suppose but very few others.

Look guys, if you haven't got enough water my suggestion is to preserve all you have including everything that currently goes down the kitchen sink.  You might also contemplate going entirely organic and using the households surplus urine as foliar feed.   It's recycling at its best and would bring on the vegetables a treat.  Probably a good idea to keep it off the cucumbers ......at least for the time being.

Distribution is of course so much easier for those living in houses where access to an open bedroom window  would ensure, for a healthy person,  that not a drop goes to waste.  Bungalow dwellers might revert to the chamber-pot principle and redistribute later, preferably on a calm day, using a garden spray or watering can.

....can I get back to my wine now please ??

COMPULSORY MOTORCYCLE TUITION FOR CAR DRIVERS

I've lost count of the times I've heard car drivers curse cyclists or motorcyclists.  How many of them have any idea what it's like to use a motorcycle, scooter, or bicycle as an alternative form of transport ?

Would they be confident enough to retake and pass the car drivers test let alone something as difficult as the motorcycle test ? How many of them actually engage brain and open eyes when driving their car?  Often the "car" is a large environmentally unfriendly 4x4 with a "green" parent behind the wheel off on the the school run.

Well I don't drive an environmentally unfriendly 4x4 but otherwise, until recently, I was probably one of those many car drivers who have scant understanding of what it's like to use a motorcycle.  That is until I decided to take the Driving Standards Agency(DSA) motor cycle test. And so now I have no doubt whatsoever that the roads would be a lot safer if anyone applying to take the DSA test for a car or something larger, had first to pass the motorcycle test.

Disagree?  Well if you do why not treat yourself to a motorcycle Compulsory Basic Training course; it's the first, and easiest, of four steps on the way to a motorcycle licence. Then read this again.

VINCE CABLE - BUSINESS SECRETARY

I can't help but wonder whether it's time for Vince to spend a little more time at home.  He has a knack of upsetting people; most recently the Unions.  Not really the best group of people to upset if you're the business secretary !!

It may not be so much what you say, Vince.....although on this occasion it most certainly is......but more so how you say it ?  I'll be honest, Vince, dynamic is not a tag I'd attach to you.  Apologies but to me you often look as though a phone call to the Samaritans is just a few minutes away.  It's time to have a rest, Vince before things get out of hand.  You're a thoroughly nice person who can do without the hassle.  Take a rest ........or get a makeover.  

UNANSWERABLE QUESTION IN AS-LEVEL EXAM

So pupils taking a business studies paper were distraught because information required to produce the answer was missing. Nice one.

It beggars belief that the tossers at the exam board could allow such a thing to happen.  And they have the audacity to say that the question accounted only for a few marks from eighty or so total. They have apologised.  That's nowhere near good enough.

Incredibly they say they have a robust process for ensuring that none of the students are disadvantaged as a result of the exam board mistake. Shame they don't have a robust process for making sure the questions are sensible. In the context of their mistake where's the need for a "robust process"?  Just scrub the question, mark the students on what remains, give yourselves a good smacking, and for heaven's sake try a bit harder next time.  You are supposed to be adults after all. And by the way no bonus and no pay increase for such abysmal performance.

IMF BACKS UK ECONOMIC POLICY

Well there you go, Ed (Balls not Miliband).  As I predicted yesterday the IMF have this morning backed the Chancellor's stance: no change of direction currently necessary.

But after all it's just a matter of opinion based on interpretation of collected data ( much of which is probably  inaccurate ) - so it's even more complicated for groups of economists to interpret.

So, Ed we're back to which bunch of economists do I go with ? Given that, as an average man on the street, I know bugger all about economics  I'm going to go with the bunch I most trust.

So would that be the IMF, or would it be your lot, Ed?
Answer :See yesterday's blog.    

JUNE 2011 - BALLS CRITICISES THE CHANCELLOR

I know some say he's a thoroughly nice chap ( however my feelings were expressed in an earlier blog  ) , but Ed Balls would do well to learn to be constructive in his criticism.  This is important because he rarely appears  to break cover unless its to say something falling under the head of "criticism". 

Now bless Ed, he says that if a plan is not working, then a Chancellor should change course.  The thing is, Ed, when talking about such complex things as the economy, it's a matter of opinion whether something is working or not.  Show me one group of economists saying one thing and I'll show you another group of economists saying another.  They're a bit like lawyers in this respect.  It's opinion see?  So you might not think its working, but the Chancellor might think it is.  Ed, I'm going to side with the Chancellor on this one and not you.  Sorry but I just find it hard to trust what you say.

URGENT - KEEP OFF THE BEANSPROUTS

Well, not wishing to sound smug, but an earlier blog of mine did question the German assertion that the nasty E-coli epidemic was all Spain's fault.  Thank goodness Guernsey gave up growing the large variety several years ago or they might also have been in the frame.

So now it seems that German home-grown bean sprouts are the cause.  Uh huh ?! How soon I wonder before the reassurance that you are not at risk unless you have consumed several pounds of the things.

So let's see: Spain is suing Germany over lost sales; Russia has banned Spanish toms and will shortly ban German bean-sprouts; which leaves Germany to look for friends to ride out the storm.......
 
Oh how far reaching the effects might be for voting in next year's Eurovision song contest.

HYPNOTIST "KNOCKED OUT" DURING ACT

Well it sounds strange doesn't it?  Three people under the spell on stage, and this fellow trips over one of their feet and knocks himself out !  Now are you're thinking what I'm thinking ?.....How do we wake the poor souls up again?  ............well no what I was actually thinking is that this is just a cunning stunt from this artist to draw attention to his act. And if so it's worked to an extent because if nothing else I'm writing about it.

Of more interest would be what might have happened if the unfortunate fellow had actually snuffed it with the three volunteers still under his influence as it were.  Well, so they say,  his cohorts have got a recording which can be used in just such a circumstance.  Nice eh? Sounds a bit tricky to me.  " When I count to three you will all wake up as though nothing has happened. " Just suppose the recordings didn't work;  or maybe had an unusual or surprising effect !!  On wonders how long these hypnotic spells last.  Could another hypnotist put things right? Apparently not.

This all suggests that unless taken out of the trance by the practitioner inducing it, then the subject could be wandering around in an hypnotic state for the rest of his or her life.  Which makes me wonder how many of our  MP's, quite innocently (forgive the use of the word in this context), might be in such a state;  how many of our Local Councillors,  Industry leaders, Military personnel - the list is endless.  Could this be the reason so many things seem to be screwed up ??

MP's CAN'T STAND THE PACE

So according to the Hansard Society the 227 new intake MP's are working an average of 69 hours per week - and evidently they are finding it a struggle !!  Join the real world where 69 hours per week can be seen as an easy week.  And one wonders exactly what they classify as "work".  Is it work as most of us see things ?  Or is a lot of the work time taken up with chatting to other members, or maybe even to Constituents?  And how long do they spend completing and then checking over their expenses ( a new system which it seems they are dissatisfied with....wonder why) ?  And their salary ?  Well about £65,000 p.a. and they voted not to take a 1% pay rise this year !!! Tell that to the thousands of people in the real world who either haven't got a job, or have taken a pay cut.

THERE'S A LOT OF IT ABOUT.......

E.coli.  Not something to joke about.  Already it seems 18 have died and around 1500 are infected.  The common link appears to be that all the poor souls live in, or have travelled to, Germany.  And initially a suggestion the infection came from Spain transported on the skins of Cucumbers.  Well I'm not entirely sure that was the case. And having first been so assertive about it, the German authorities now appear to be revising their stance.

The infection is new according to the Robert Koch Institute ( thankfully one "k" and a "c" rather than two "c's" and a "k" ) and could well last for months.  The Russians have banned all the stuff and Spain are now seeking compensation from the E.U ( N.B. not the German Government who seemed to have stoked things up for the rest of us ) .   Ah.......happy times.

RESIDENTIAL CARE ABUSE

Reading of the disgraceful abuse of vulnerable patients filmed by the BBC at a Bristol residential care hospital I quite frankly wondered how the evil bastards seen dishing out the abuse live with themselves.

Evidently the hospital owners have apologised and suspended a dozen or so employees.  Oh well that's alright then ?  Do they think they are any less responsible for the abusive behaviour than those dishing it out at the sharp end ?

Let's ask ourselves why it takes undercover reporters to expose the sort of behaviour that any even half-responsible or mildly interested owner or manager would disallow ?  Should we wonder to what extent cost,..... .....sorry greed, ..... is an issue here ??  Is the taxpayer really charged £3,500 per week for each of the unfortunate patients ?  If so there can be no excuse for overworked, under-trained  or under-paid staff;  no excuse for poor food or conditions.........I reckon there's much more to this than has yet come out. It's absolutely indicative of another disgraceful waste of taxpayers money on top of everything else ?

In a nutshell it appears to work like this: give us £180,000 odd each year  - more if we can screw it out of you - and we'll make sure your son, father, daughter, whoever,  is subjected to disgraceful treatment by the evil bastards we've employed or secured through an agency,  for so long as we're not caught out......and if it's up to the Regulators to catch us ....... well we'll take that chance !!   Suckers ?

GLOBAL WARMING - THIS AND THAT

I'm just wondering how long it will be before some clot tries to link the unseasonably warm weather we've been having with global warming.  In fairness most proponents of it, believers in it, would not.  I had once thought  there might really be something in it. That is until I heard about the University of Essex involvement in things.  Evidently it all kicked off   -  the global warming thing  -  because of  their rather strange behaviour surrounding the publication of "facts" of the matter.

But what a significant effect this behaviour ( some have called it deception ) seems to have had.  We are told  huge numbers of people, and some major Governments, subscribe to the view that global warming is really happening. As a matter of interest how many people and which Governments dispute global warming ?  

When it comes to normal folk, most are probably not blessed with a great scientific ability or education.  They take a view simply because they prefer to believe "this" rather than "that".  And what view they take could well be based on their respect for who says "this" and who says "that".  Maybe, for some, it's based on respect for their government.

But what if a government decides to use the fear of "global warming" to achieve other objectives?  If so then where is the incentive to argue with the global warming proponents?

ALTERNATIVE VOTE SYSTEM ?

Why is it that there are always a few daft people around who refuse to recognise that some things are completely stupid?  AV is clearly one of those things.

And never mind the obvious stupidity of AV should some other system be proposed there will always be those who think they will be disadvantaged by it; and likewise those who think a different system will work to their advantage.  Why would anything else be a consideration for politicians ?...........now let me think........

AVOID ALZHEIMERS ?

So it's announced today that if you are a middle aged fat bastard then you are more at risk of getting Alzheimers disease.  If you keep a healthy weight it seems to be the best way to avoid accelerated mental decline.

Now this doesn't sound quite right to me.  Not just because chances are that those conducting the studies are young, fit, and ideal-weight researchers who couldn't bear the thought of getting Alzheimers as they get older - and probably larger !!  Perhaps they just want to reassure themselves.  Could it simply be another chicken and egg thing ??  Does it follow that if you are a thin-bastard you are less likely to get Alzheimers ?

How do people put on weight in the first instance?  Well several ways I suppose.  Could it be what they eat, and maybe their lifestyle, even their job,  that is responsible for the apparent greater risk and not just their size ?  If so then fat, thin, or medium....it might happen to you.

LOCAL COUNCILS PAY TRADE UNION REPRESENTATIVES

Can I believe what I read ? Have 132 councils really paid for hundreds of union representatives? By all accounts more than £10million per annum over the last three years. Not a lot perhaps when compared to the £5 billion, yes billion, increase in the cost of Britain's new aircraft carriers. But it is certainly suggests a sickening waste of local resources.  And am I to believe that the top ten such spenders are Labour-led councils ? Well yes, I am.

This is not to suggest that union representation is wasteful. Absolutely not. But why should our local taxes pay for it?

WILD ANIMALS, PETS, AND CHICKENS.

A new journal devoted to animal ethics apparently thinks our reference to our "pets" is not a term of endearment but more an insult to the animals we love.  Now I'm not denying there's some sense in there somewhere because they argue that the words we use imply the treatment we give our pets.  Absolutely.  Isn't that why we call them "pets"?  Or is this in the same category of the criticism attached to Cameron for calling an Opposition colleague "Dear" ?

When it comes to the animals we are used to calling "wild" I understand they prefer we call them "free-ranging" or "free-living".  Fair enough if it will help.  But actually I've always thought of the reference to wild animals as hugely romantic and usefully informative.  Take Tigers for example, or Bull Elephants.  We call them wild because in the wild, or rather in the free range, they are wild.  And if we meet one of these magnificent animals in the wild I doubt if our behaviour, our respect for them, and treatment of them, would change constructively if we thought of them simply as free ranging.  The same applies to free-range chickens. But as I said there's some sense in there somewhere.  Battery hens for example could well be referred to as innocent prisoners.  With such a title would our view of the morality of keeping battery hens be modified ?

ED BALLS

Talking about people who seem to just invite a verbal smacking just have a jolly good look at our Ed.  Splendid fellow no doubt;  but the ever-present and sarcastic -looking smile, the adolescent-Billy Bunter-sounding voice, and an apparent refusal to make or receive any constructive comment, get right up my nose. Of course some will claim the same about our David.

On the other side of the coin, bless him,  Ed tries so hard to be good in opposition having failed so miserably to be such in power.  Maybe another reason why he invites, and some would say deserves, the smackings ?

But what, one wonders, would have been the reaction if the leader of the Opposition (what's his name??) had likewise actually irritated the lads and lasses on the Government benches ?  Maybe one day we'll find out.  But I'm not holding my breath.  Does he  have the skill, courage, pedigree, and personal magnetism to offend and yet still retain the moral high-ground ?

CALM DOWN DEAR

Nice one, David !!  It's not really a political point - but there's just some people around who can't help inviting a good verbal smacking.  And that's the category I put Cameron's "Calm down dear " in.  Looking at the faces of the Opposition front bench they seemed to invite, even welcome, such a smacking.  So when it happens they should not be surprised, but take it like a man.  And, in fairness, the object of the remark seemed to do just that when interviewed following the event.

NHS WINE AND DINE

Evidently £13million spent by the NHS chiefs wining and dining.  And, if its true, then no doubt they will defend the situation splendidly.  But whatever the excuse, whatever they say,  it's not good enough to convince me !!  This may be just a tiny drop in the vast ocean of NHS expense. But it's surely a symptom of some rather deadly disease?